Get Up & Grow

"We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? "

I miss my ex

uh oh….nothing good can ever come out of uttering those four words! For the last couple of days, I have been thinking about my ex-boyfriend and surprisingly I’m not talking about my first love. I think I have pretty much gotten over that.  There’s always that one situation that you never fully had closure on because you wouldn’t allow yourself to think about it long enough to get it. He is my situation.

I found him on Facebook yesterday and sent him a nice message explaining that I had been wondering where he was and what he was doing. It looks like he went through with the plans for his future that we’d discussed back when we were dating….minus me, of course. I just want to know that he is doing well and that he is happy. It isn’t an attempt to get him back. I want closure here and I am determined to get it.

This person is EXTREMELY talented and intelligent. ( The guy is working on a Masters at Virgina Tech…..) We went to high school together and even though we liked each other, we never actually dated because my best friend liked him. He was another guy in my band class but once I actually dated him ( about 2 years ago), I found out how talented he really was. This guy can play the guitar and sing like nobody’s business. I can remember sitting in his living room and staring at him lovingly while he played and sang for me.

As I mentioned, he is also super intelligent. Every time he opens his mouth, you can hear it but he never tried to make me feel stupid. I remember talking to him about all kinds of things and just being blown away by the way he thought.

I don’t know that I truly LOVED him. I don’t think I had enough of a chance to because there were a lot of things about his life that he didnt’ want to talk about. Also, I didn’t allow myself to really know HIM. I was too busy assuming that I knew what he was about and what he was going to do next. He once pointed out that I wasn’t really dealing with him, I was creating all of these situations in my head. ( Like assuming that he was going to change his mind about me at any moment and break up with me.)

True love or not, I have been thinking about him and I want to have the conversations that we didn’t have at the end of our relationship. After that happens, I will be satisfied.


November 20, 2011 - Posted by | Less than 3 | , , , , ,

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