Get Up & Grow

"We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? "

30 Days of Truth: Day 9

Someone you didn’t’ want to let go but just drifted:

My best friend from college was pretty dope. She was a dance major like me but instead of education, her focus was performance. We met in a health class that we both hated. The professor would give these tests and after that, my new friend and I would slip out of class….eat fast food…get tattoos, etc.  We had  a lot in common but we were also very different in other ways. I loved her bubbly personality…normally bubbly people annoy me but she always knew how to put me in a great mood. Any time either of us was bummed out, we would plop down in front of a movie with tubs of ice cream in our laps and veg out. I was really the only friend of hers that stuck by her when her mother died of cancer. I had really loved her mother and I had promised her that I would look after her daughter. As it turned out, her mother had a best friend from college with the exact same first and last name as me!

Things started to slip when we decided to live together. It never fails…best friends that live together very rarely come out of the experience the same. I felt like she was eating up all of the food and using all of the toilet paper and not pitching in enough. She seemed to just get tired of always being around me. She started to hang out with our mutual friends without me and I knew they were excluding me on purpose. Finally, I decided to move out. I admit, it was a rotten thing to do to stick her with the rent but I couldn’t take it anymore. I had become depressed over the fact that this person had edged me out of her life. So I moved into a place by myself and we didn’t talk for a long time.

After a few months, we started to communicate again and then we started to hang out a little. Soon after that, we went back to the way we were before…inseperable. We would go out to the club every weekend wearing practically nothing and shake our asses all night long. I think that this time though, there was less actual talking about our lives and more partying. I spent a lot of time being her personal body-guard as well, getting into fights with people at the club for her and chasing off guys who she dated who got out of hand. ( apparently, I am intimidating.)

When I decided to move to Arizona, she supported me but then that’s when we started to grow apart again. She never called or contacted me and I found that when we did talk, it was because I was contacting her. In the 4 years that I was in AZ, she never came to see me but I would hear about her taking vacations with boyfriends or with her Father. It’s still like that even now. When she got an iPhone, I asked her to download an application that would make it possible for us to talk for free and she never did it. I asked her 3 times and she just kept saying that she would look into it. That was really the last straw. I mean…you can’t even be bothered to download a FREE app so that you can talk to me? All of my other friends with the ability to download the app did so within 10 minutes of me mentioning it and were delighted to be able to communicate with me.

My mother had a similar situation with her childhood best friend and she told me that I’ve pretty much done all that I can do. I’m really sick of putting forth the effort only to have her casually give me the brush off. I decided that I’m not going to make a big show out of ending our friendship, I’m simply going to stop putting in the effort. If she wants to continue being friends, she needs to step up and make some time to do so.

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December 26, 2011 - Posted by | Bitching | ,

2 Comments »

  1. I had a best friend who we drifted apart. Yet, I can pick up the phone and call her and we will talk as if we never stopped talking. I don’t have the desire to do so because like you I’m tired of reaching out. Just let go hun…sometimes its just time! If it’s meant she will come back to you…

    Comment by serenityluv1 | December 26, 2011 | Reply

  2. I find it so hard to find balance in a relationship. A lot of the time I feel like I’m putting in all this effort and getting nothing back. And then they get annoyed and blame you when you stop talking or making an effort with them. I’m sorry to hear that you drifted with someone you had something so special with. I think its best to just try and let it go, because it only hurts to hold onto something that the other person has no interest in. Just hold onto the fond memories 🙂

    Comment by friskymittens | December 27, 2011 | Reply


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