Get Up & Grow

"We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? "

The Line…and When is it Ok to Cross it Again?

I have this friend…we will call him Purp. ( I really hate posts that start that way but oh well…) Purp and I met on Facebook when I joined a page for foreigners living close to my area. As soon as I introduced myself and said that I was looking to ” get a social life”, he responded asking what I like to do. Ever since then, he and I have seen each other every weekend. I know what you are thinking and it isn’t anything romantic…I think. Well it didn’t start out that way. We are always hanging out with groups of people…mostly people he knows. We have never been out alone.

Recently, this friend of mine asked if I would be interested in hanging out alone….a date, he added at the end. I was shocked because I had no idea that he thought of me that way. I guess that’s a good thing though because I hate for a man to act like a horny dog from the beginning. He and I have started a great friendship and he reminds me so much of the people I called my closest friends in high school. So, I agreed to go out with him tonight but I’m feeling so many things at this point.

1. Excitement! Hanging out with Purp is always a great time and I’m always excited to see him. I’m also excited because he treats me like a friend…a lady…someone to be respected. I never feel like he is looking at me with lust in his heart.

2. Fear! What happens if this doesn’t work out? What if one or both of us is uncomfortable? How do you go back to being friends and forget about that one night when you tried to be more? That’s scary! I know people are always using the lame excuse that they don’t want to ruin a great friendship but I REALLY feel that way. If I lose this person’s friendship, I will be crushed.

3. Curiosity! No really…what happens if it doesn’t work out? Does he become SuperCockBlockMan when we hang out from now on? He doesn’t seem like the jealous type and I don’t think he would turn into a jerk if we didn’t end up dating and I met someone else while I was out with him in the future. There is always that possibility though…I just wonder what he will be like from here forward.

So I have also been thinking about this other situation. If someone tells you that they want you to “follow your heart” when it comes to someone else…does that mean exactly that or is that a nice way of saying ” I don’t give two shits what you do” ? Conversations come less frequently and some things have changed. I get the feeling that we have both stopped caring a little and that’s fine. Once I start seeing someone as an emotional threat…I slow down on trying to pursue them. Nobody is perfect but there are certain places that I just don’t want to put myself.  Call me a coward…I’ll be that.

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April 10, 2012 - Posted by | Less than 3 | , , ,

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