Get Up & Grow

"We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? "

Fall into Me

There has been something on my mind lately…

I want to be a safety net. I know that sounds kind of dumb but I have come to realize that it’s exactly what I crave. I find myself getting so hurt when I find out about something that a friend is going through AFTER the fact. I have had friendships end because the other person just refuses to talk to me about whatever is going on in their life from day-to-day. If you want to call me your friend…why can’t you talk to me? Why do I have to find out from someone or somewhere else that you are having a hard time or that something great happened to you? I want to be there to help you bounce back or to celebrate with you…why is it that I get locked out?

I am turning into my Father. When I was younger, I just couldn’t understand why he was so bothered by the fact that I was growing up and could do things on my own. Sometimes I saw it as an attempt to control me…but now I see it for what it really is. My Father wants to be a safety net. Hell, he IS and always has been my safety net. Now that I am older, I’ve come to understand what is really happening. I’m not trying to control anyone or be nosey. I simply want to do what a friend should do and when they keep me from doing so, I’m hurt. I take it as an attack on our friendship.

I’m not always the easiest person to talk to but I have never turned a friend away or made them feel small because they were going through something. I don’t downplay their success either.

I will just have to accept that people aren’t always going to look to me for advice. I’m not always going to be the first person they go to with great news. I don’t have to understand it…I simply have to accept it in order to control my emotional responses.

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April 17, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , ,

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