Get Up & Grow

"We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? "

Thy Will Be Done

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how people like to play God. Last night, I had a conversation with someone about various issues like homosexuality, religion, and marriage. ( All things that should totally be avoided on a first date but…oh well.) I told him about my friend who had posted on FB about her vote on Amendment One in North Carolina. She was angry because people were saying that those in favor of it were ” stupid conservative rednecks”.  Of course, a conversation started about rights and the sanctity of marriage. Her sister broke in to ask if she even really understood what she had voted on. Making gay marriage legal in the state was not up for discussion. What they were voting on was the definition of “legal union” and whether or not couples other than ” man+woman marriages” could be recognized legally. The way the Amendment was worded made people think that they were “fighting for team Jesus for the sanctity of marriage”.  My friend had the attitude that if a gay man couldn’t have any legal rights if his partner got sick or died, that was just an unfortunate side effect and it was not her problem. Her obligation was to God and she had to make sure that gay people were not allowed to marry. (Crickets) Yeah…as I have seen on many FB pages in the past two weeks, rights are called rights because people should have them…they shouldn’t be voted on. Also, everyone is entitled to their own religion and beliefs but…that does not give them the right to decide for others or to push their beliefs on others. Your religion or beliefs should guide you in your own life…your own way of living but it should not change MY rights or the way I live MY life because that’s for me to decide.

Why should anyone have to hide who they are just so that YOU don’t have to be uncomfortable? In this part of the conversation, we were talking about seeing people and not being able to tell if they are male or female. He felt like he absolutely had to know and I asked him why it mattered to him. Why can’t that person just be a human being? If you don’t have to deal with or sleep with this person…why do you care? Who gave you the right to demand that women look like __________ and men look like _________? Instead of worrying about whether this person that you are working with or standing next to is honest and trustworthy, you are worried about their lifestyle choices. Lame. He also talked about being in military and how ” awkward ” it was once they opened the military. He liked it better when the policy was ” don’t ask, don’t tell” because at least then, men weren’t coming back to their shared living quarters with their boyfriends. I pointed out to him that it should have been equally as awkward for men to bring women back because either way, someone was having sex in your shared living space and you could walk in at any time! It’s only awkward to him when there are two men involved of course. If it’s a woman inside with his roommate, he sees the towel hanging from the door and takes it as a sign that his roommate is getting lucky. Later on, he’s patting said roommate on the back for a job well done. Ah, the luxury of being  straight.

Another thing that I don’t understand is double standards. So, because you are attracted to women, it’s okay for them to be together but it’s not okay for men to be together? So…the world has to base right and wrong off of your personal preferences? Lame. You get to decide that a man who takes his time getting dressed in the morning is definitely gay?  Who put you in charge of the Gay Checklist? Why should there even be such a checklist?!

Bottom line is this…mind your own damn business!


May 20, 2012 - Posted by | Bitching | , , , , , , ,


  1. welll…I’m not sure that a simple “mind your own business” covers everything we need to work on. it’s a good start, but since to a certain extent, we are in this together as a “society” with shared resources (roads, water, elec, etc), and a key issue in marriage in money, i.e. tax credits for “families,” these disussions are “all” of our business.
    The problem here is a lack of kindness, compassion, and understanding from a certain section our our society which is operating under the false assumption that they have no responsibility to be kind and compassionate to people that they feel are different from them.
    There is a real need to train people in something akin to debate, so that they diffuse fallacious arguments and not encourage bickering.

    Comment by spektakx | May 20, 2012 | Reply

    • It was not an attempt to “cover everything we need to work on” it was a simple summary of the point I was trying to make. My whole point in this post was that people need to stop trying to live for other people and make decisions that do not belong to them….thus the mind your own business.

      Comment by truewomanifesto | May 20, 2012 | Reply

      • yes, i understand your point, that those decisions “don’t belong to them” thus the “mind your own business” but since we all share tax code, which is what marriage debates are really about, then the decisions do “belong” to them. they belong to all of us.

        Comment by spektakx | May 20, 2012

      • It doesn’t belong to all of us when it’s a man+woman marriage, does it? As soon as it comes down to excluding gay people it all of a suddent become about all of us.

        Comment by truewomanifesto | May 20, 2012

      • I think it does still belong to us when it’s a man+woman marriage. Simply because it’s really a money issue(what ain’t right?) This is all about money; taxes, life insurance, medical insurance benefits, inheritance. Just listen to the debates and this becomes very clear. I think what you’ve brought up is another facet of politics, the fact that people who make quick Knee-jerk decisions(ie “gay marriage is wrong) usually are easier to convince to vote, because when you begin to actually “be considerate”-actually “considering” something, it takes longer, you’ll probably just be confused and do nothing at all.

        Comment by spektakx | May 20, 2012

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