Get Up & Grow

"We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? "

When?!

I am getting no closer to writing this book. I have a few pages scribbled into a random notebook and a few more pages on both PCs. *sigh* From the outside looking it, it would appear that I don’t care about this at all. But I know I do…I perk up every time I see a blog about self-publishing…I get the urge to write and make notes and be creative. What’s the problem?

I think that I need a time and space to devote to writing. Everyday, I should go to a specific space at a specific time and write. ( Even if I don’t feel like it….even if I’m tired…even if I have a headache.) There are very few things that I absolutely MAKE myself do no matter what. Maybe I should start.

So, I decide a couple of months ago that a novel was a bit much for me at this time. I want to take things one step at a time and start with a short story. I definitely wouldn’t mind having my short story selling on Kindles everywhere for 99 cents. Hey, it’s a start and it would make me very happy.

I have read so many novels like the one I want to write. Paranormal romance and romance in general is all I read and I just find myself thinking ” How in the hell could I ever write something this wonderful?” I mean, my favorite authors make me feel so many things! Can I actually write something that is that great? Something that other people can relate to? Something they will love and want more of?

Doubt and fear…that’s what it boils down to. I know all of the published authors that I talk to always say to write without fear but that’s so much easier said than done! I’m told to just write and not to even read it over until later. Make corrections and changes later…for now, just get what you want to say out.

Ok…I think I can do that…

May 8, 2012 Posted by | iWrite | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I want to WRITE!

I want this novel. I want it so badly that I can taste it. The problem is that I am way too intimidated by the thought of writing it and it’s getting in the way of any efforts that I make to get started. Perhaps I should have faced this issue before getting on FB and shouting from the mountain top that I was going to be writing my first novel.

The advice from successful authors is helping. Thinking about that person that I know who published the first of a 3 book series recently is helping. ( Again, mostly because I read some of the book and it’s really not great and I feel like if she can do it, I can too!) I think that even if I just started out writing a Kindle novella or something like that…it would give me the confidence I need to write something a little longer and perhaps to publish in print. Funny how publishing a Kindle book seems to be less of a big deal…but it’s HUGE in reality.

My concepts for the novel have change again and again and again. I really love the opening that I adapted from a short story but once I got past that…there was nothing. I couldn’t even decide if I wanted to add a paranormal twist to the story ( vampires) or not. I guess I just have paranormal romance on my brain because that’s what I read all of the time. I’m telling myself that because I read so much of it, I should be able to crank out a quality story in no time. (NOT FAIR!)

I want to write this novel and have it turn into a series like what happened to that person I know. I want to become all serious and dedicated like the aspiring writers that I know. They eat, sleep, and breathe writing! I find that I have trouble being that dedicated to anything these days.  I’m going to have to dig deep, push my insecurities aside, and just push through. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reading and reworking what I’ve written. I think that’s where I started to get frustrated this last time. Like I said…it’s really helping to read about successful authors and to know that they do the same things. They rework….they are hard on themselves…they decide after they have started that they want to throw it out and start over, etc.

But, ultimately, I know one thing. There is a reason that this keeps coming back to me and that I can’t fully shake the feeling of wanting to write this novel.

February 10, 2012 Posted by | iWrite | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Updates on A lot

So I’ve been an awful blogger recently. It was mostly because of my vacation though. I am so glad to be home and away from the person I was traveling with. The dog and I both lost some weight while I was gone so that’s all good. I have pictures but they are on my home computer so I will definitely move them over here to WordPress when I get a chance.

I’m back in the saddle at school…for a week. The strange thing about Winter break is that we come back for one week in February to wrap up our last lessons before the 6th graders graduate at the end of the week. Then, we are out of school for another 2 weeks for “Spring Break”. When we return in March, it’s a new school year and everyone has been brought up a grade. I did all of this planning for this week and we really aren’t doing anything. I won’t see the 6th graders, I only got to teach one 5th grade class ( tomorrow I only see two 5th grade classes and they are both watching a video with my co-teacher), and I won’t see my 4th graders at all either. So that means that I taught I class so far ( which was more like just a word review game) and I will teach my four 3rd grade classes on Wednesday. That’s it! I am happy to have a light load this week but I’m also a little disappointed because I planned some great lessons for them. But, this week I will be focused on making changes to the discipline system of our department and planning the first month of lessons for the new school year in March.

I’m still not dating and I haven’t really missed it at all. Had one person who didn’t want to take no for an answer and had to be really stern with him. I am too focused on other things. I am plugging away at my Counseling courses and have started TESOL training as well. (I’m almost halfway through with it and should be finished by this time next week!)

I have made the decision to give Korea another year or two of my life. I will not know until the last 2 or 3  months of my contract if I will be asked to return so I’m looking into other options as well. I am going to see what’s up with the private school that I really wanted to work for before. The hours are longer but there are more foreigners there and the kids are extremely talented in English already. At this point, I’m not going to look too much outside of Korea. I think I want to stay here for a little while, save some money, pay off debts, and enjoy this relatively stress-free life. I at least think I want to stay here until I finish my current degree program. I can’t see myself trying to work in the States or anywhere else that would force me to work crazy hours or do a lot of work outside of the work day and studying as well. I did it with the first Masters degree and it just about drove me mad. Why not make things easier or myself?

My next break, I will go home to see my family and friends. (Summer) Next winter break, I am going to shoot for Japan or Thailand. Those were the places that I wanted to visit this time and got shot down by the chick that I travelled with. ( Well if I can’t see any of the places that I’m interested in, don’t be surprised and mad when I don’t really want to do that much sightseeing!) If I have to, I will travel alone. I don’t care about going alone and I’m smart enough to stay out of harm’s way.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my passion. The more I think about it, the more I think that I don’t really have one anymore. Dance burned me completely out and while my most important and lasting life goals are tied to dance, I think that I did the right thing by taking a break. I have tried many things that other people are passionate about but I can leave or take them. I want to find something that I love so much that I want to do it all the time. I want to be good at something. I guess I will continue to search.

Meanwhile…the novel was put on super hold…and other novel ideas are coming to me. I think that I just need to take some time and outline this thing and finally decide on it before I start trying to write it. I am getting so far away from my original concept and that’s totally ok…

February 6, 2012 Posted by | Affirmation, Bitching, iWrite, Less than 3 | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

At First Sight

Their eyes met from across the street and it was love at first sight for him. He felt his heart rate increase as he stopped to openly stare at her. She was about 5’5″ and curvy in all the right places. Her long hair,which was loc’d, fell well beyond her bare cocoa brown shoulders to the middle of her back. The smile on her face was genuine and easy as it spread all the way to her large, almond-shaped eyes. An angry driver honked as he made his way across the street to where she stood. Refusing to take his eyes off of her for s second, he feared she might disappear.

_______________________

She watched him walk in to the street with no regard for the on coming traffic and shook her head slowly. He was going to get himself hurt. Was it possible that he really was looking at her? Glancing behind her, she saw nothing but the Starbucks she’d just stepped out of with her chamomile tea. No one was standing behind her.  Maybe he hasn’t had his morning caffeine fix, she thought as he came to a stop in front of her.

” Hi.” He said, extending a hand to her and smiling. His full lips pulled back from a set of beautiful white teeth.

“Hi” She said,  shifting her cup and accepting his hand. She  listened intently as he gave her his name then offered hers.

Wow, his whiskey colored eyes were amazing…

December 28, 2011 Posted by | iWrite | , , , , | Leave a comment